why

It’s been years since you’ve gone, Sans you We’ve learnt to walk, We’ve learnt to smile and I’ve come so far
Sans you We stand together as each other’s strength.
You'll watch me from far and one day I’ll be your star.
I know YOU are somewhere around.
I know you miss us all and see us from the heavens above.
If you knew you would miss us then why you chose to go, why I want to know
Why you became so mean just for your rest and peace,
Why you turned our smiling cheeks into the path of running tears.

the distance

I know not from what distant time
thou art ever coming nearer to meet me.
Thy sun and stars can never keep thee hidden from me for aye.

In many a morning and eve thy footsteps have been heard
and thy messenger has come within my heart and called me in secret.

I know not only why today my life is all astir,
and a feeling of tremulous joy is passing through my heart.

It is as if the time were come to wind up my work,
I feel in the air a faint smell of thy sweet presence
I feel thy touch as i close my eyes

I KNOW I CAN'T GO BACK

I know I can’t go back
I want to be a child again,
Sans tension and pain
Moving as easy as a star
Driving my small hot wheels car
Ripping our Barbie dolls and making new clothes,
When irritated we break their heads and their toes
Stethoscope around the neck and pencil in our hands, poking each other’s tiny backsides and say “now you are fine”
Bringing puppies and kittens home from the streets,
Decorating them with beads and flowers
Troubling tiny fireflies and frogs
With dragonfly’s tail tied to a thread sprinting left and right
“zoom, here comes my helicopter”
Doodling and embossing hands on the walls
As toddlers, holding hands and running together “you be dad and I’ll be mom” under that house made up of a torn bed sheet
Sitting in one corner of the house next to a flower pot cooking food with leaves and branches in tandem with a kitchen set,
Stealthily looking around and eating things from the ground
“kooo-chhuk chhuk” here comes the greatest train in the world,
With young ladies in their mommy’s best lip stick and stilettos
With young lads in their dad’s most expensive coats
I know I can’t go back
Back to those sleepless afternoons
Into those crazy sand castles
To those fights which said “boys are best-NO girls are best”
Kicking, hitting, pulling hair
Yelling, shrilling with all the guts in the air
Running inside the house with a monster shout
Hugging mom from her legs with wet eyes and a puppy pout
Running behind grand mom for some pennies to get candies and that the doctor said would make our teeth rot.
Then we’re stuffed full to overflowing, our faces a collage of mango, chocolate and snot
Pestering parents to buy us things that neighbor’s child had
There were millions of things I know that we did,
We dreamed, we fought, we were punished, we were kids.
I conjure in my mind, these memories in my head,
And I refuse to come back- I’ll live here instead.

home away from home

With the bag packs I walked through the door,
saw some of them sitting and some lying on the floor.
As I walked in I smiled and winked
Searching for the one whom I know, I headed towards the warden’s office to ask which way to go
She took a leap and walked ahead to show me where was
my cupboard and bed.
I entered inside the room and unpacked my stuff,
With relief on my face I untied my laces and opened my cuffs.
Dinner time! The bells rang
I picked up my plate and downstairs I ran
Standing in the queue I questioned “how is the food?”
“New in the hostel?” wait for few days you will come to know”
I got the reply.
Although I craved for home food I ate, I chatted, I became friends.
Soon no one remained a stranger and we formed a league,
Started off with a mission, to trouble the alien who had mal- nutrition, people called warden.
We knocked, we ran, we hid, imitated and laughed
We did things she never thought, all those things surely made her hot.
We bitched, we shared – when angry we stared
Had nights dipped in songs, dance, maggie and guitars,
When nothing to do we acted like retards
From mid-night birthday wishes to sneak outs,
From late nights to night outs.
We became partners in crime,
in dark rooms we had movie prime time.
Hostel life taught us a lot,
What to do when you can’t cut things according to your cloth.
How to travel, what to eat,
What to keep and what to delete.
There were times when we hog and sometimes we starve like a dog.
And now I sigh when I think about the day we all will be in different phases and spheres of life and when will take a walk down this old, sparkling, emotional and funny memory lane.
I bet there will be curve on the face and droplets in our eyes.
I’m going to miss this place, these days and my darlings.